I’m puzzled by your comment that using gratitude, kindness, and compassion might serve to avoid conflict? To me that’s a good application of those traits?! An “old Gail” observation? Yet there was the “old and blue” antecedent qualifier. Your closing remark seems to confirm my guess about “old Gail.” (Far from old ...)
Between you and Sarah it’s almost as if you’ve thrown down the gauntlet! “Know who you are and be brave about it! Now! Not tomorrow!” We know Tal is quick to work on her twirls, but today shows her emotional intelligence at work. Who inspires whom?
What a gift when we “discover” our true selves as we read or converse or listen to speakers or music! (Compassion practice) But a word of caution: remember to leave all the other folks’ b.s. on shore when you go paddle boarding. Balance. 😁
“I think I have discovered the true Gail. The thing is, she doesn't always want to show herself.”
I really vibe with this statement Gail.
When I have my moments of “is this old Bob?” uncertainty creep in and show up -- or the reverse -- when I’m stunned at what I feel (new Bob), I often don’t know what to do.
Most times I just give up without resolving.
Is there a place for dusting off our yearbooks and sitting with our old selves for a bit?
I’m pretty hard on my current self, but I’m brutal with my old self. Perhaps he just wants to say hi and remind me I was also good and loved back then.
Okay, taking one word from your piece and running in an orthogonal direction...
Binkies! Our older west coast niece had a strong binkie habit when she was 2. Her mother (my sister) determined No More Binkies after her 3rd birthday. Which her daughter was fine about. “What happens at three, Hailey?” “No more binkies!” the child answered cheerfully. And surrendered her binkies on her birthday.
Just not ALL of them.
Under mattresses, behind pillows, in drawers... Hailey continued to get her binkie fix for weeks after her birthday.
That was over 20 years ago. She has since graduated summa cum laude from SFSU and is working for the LA Galaxy (MLS team) as an account executive.
Yes, the LA Galaxy is a US soccer team and yes, you have identified the major source of soccer knowledge for me and Deb — Ted Lasso. (Hailey is very patient with her elderly clueless aunt and uncle. Thank heavens!)
Good run Jack!🙂 Somehow 🤷🏽 your account reminded me of Pete Seeger’s song, “Turn, turn, turn.” Loosely put, a time for this. A time for that. Is it a challenge to hold both identities of her in your mind at once?
Our niece keeps reinventing herself, Gary. Often out of necessity. She had a perfect career path outlined for herself in Major League Baseball, hopefully in the midwest (the Cubs being her Dream Team), as a modern media expert. And then COVID came along, and the internship she'd lined up vanished, and with it her inside track. So instead of MLB in Chicago she went with MLS in LA, for now. Totally temporary. Well, except she REALLY likes her current work environment and coworkers... drat...
“...gratitude, kindness, and compassion give us space to respond… instead of react.”
This is in my opinion the GOLD in this post...
What separates us from the entire rest of the animal kingdom is the ability to think and reason.
The challenge, is that we don’t always remember that we have the ability and sometimes we let circumstances, or a knee-jerk response get the better of us. Then, once we realize what we’ve done, we are usually beating ourselves up with some form of internal dialogue that we wouldn’t spout at our worst enemy, let alone a friend.
A vicious circle for sure...
A different way?
PBRR!
Pause, Breathe, Reflect, RESPOND
When we respond versus react, we give ourselves time to quiet our pesky ego (separate from) that only wants to be right and to assert our position as the only right one, not acknowledging that WE are the ones bringing meaning to everything we experience!
The linked TLDR article explains how compassion has its own dark side.
There are ways that I have used gratitude and compassion as excuses to stay small and not to stand in my power. This is what the author of the article points out by way of her experience of a collapsed Buddhist collective.
I’m puzzled by your comment that using gratitude, kindness, and compassion might serve to avoid conflict? To me that’s a good application of those traits?! An “old Gail” observation? Yet there was the “old and blue” antecedent qualifier. Your closing remark seems to confirm my guess about “old Gail.” (Far from old ...)
Between you and Sarah it’s almost as if you’ve thrown down the gauntlet! “Know who you are and be brave about it! Now! Not tomorrow!” We know Tal is quick to work on her twirls, but today shows her emotional intelligence at work. Who inspires whom?
What a gift when we “discover” our true selves as we read or converse or listen to speakers or music! (Compassion practice) But a word of caution: remember to leave all the other folks’ b.s. on shore when you go paddle boarding. Balance. 😁
Who inspires whom? That's why I need all three of them!!! ❤️💜💚
Nia would have us stuck in "perfect".
Tal would have zero organization.
Cal would meditate on the couch all day.
I want us to be a whole human. 😂
I think I have discovered the true Gail. The thing is, she doesn't always want to show herself. 🤷🏻♀️
We're working on it!
“I think I have discovered the true Gail. The thing is, she doesn't always want to show herself.”
I really vibe with this statement Gail.
When I have my moments of “is this old Bob?” uncertainty creep in and show up -- or the reverse -- when I’m stunned at what I feel (new Bob), I often don’t know what to do.
Most times I just give up without resolving.
Is there a place for dusting off our yearbooks and sitting with our old selves for a bit?
I’m pretty hard on my current self, but I’m brutal with my old self. Perhaps he just wants to say hi and remind me I was also good and loved back then.
Most times I just give up without resolving.
I don't "think" I give up...
I feel like I mull and wait, mull and wait, trusting that the most useful path forward will appear. This "might" be unrealistic.
I've an opportunity to practice "virtue" coming up this week. Finding the sweet spot between anger and meekness.
Let us see what happens! 😂
Okay, taking one word from your piece and running in an orthogonal direction...
Binkies! Our older west coast niece had a strong binkie habit when she was 2. Her mother (my sister) determined No More Binkies after her 3rd birthday. Which her daughter was fine about. “What happens at three, Hailey?” “No more binkies!” the child answered cheerfully. And surrendered her binkies on her birthday.
Just not ALL of them.
Under mattresses, behind pillows, in drawers... Hailey continued to get her binkie fix for weeks after her birthday.
That was over 20 years ago. She has since graduated summa cum laude from SFSU and is working for the LA Galaxy (MLS team) as an account executive.
orthogonal: at right angles :)
Binkies everywhere! I can relate.
It seems I find one and surrender it only to have another pop up. 😲
Some though, are just plain obvious, and I refuse to let go.
Sounds like a cool job! I'm guessing the S=soccer?
Ted Lasso!
Yes, the LA Galaxy is a US soccer team and yes, you have identified the major source of soccer knowledge for me and Deb — Ted Lasso. (Hailey is very patient with her elderly clueless aunt and uncle. Thank heavens!)
Good run Jack!🙂 Somehow 🤷🏽 your account reminded me of Pete Seeger’s song, “Turn, turn, turn.” Loosely put, a time for this. A time for that. Is it a challenge to hold both identities of her in your mind at once?
Our niece keeps reinventing herself, Gary. Often out of necessity. She had a perfect career path outlined for herself in Major League Baseball, hopefully in the midwest (the Cubs being her Dream Team), as a modern media expert. And then COVID came along, and the internship she'd lined up vanished, and with it her inside track. So instead of MLB in Chicago she went with MLS in LA, for now. Totally temporary. Well, except she REALLY likes her current work environment and coworkers... drat...
God had a better plan? 😁
I have been flummoxed on more than one occasion distinguishing between "God had a better plan" and "God has a sh*tty sense of humor" 🤔
Well… there IS that.
I think of some really great people who are given rough challenges and wonder Why???
The woman I recently highlighted — Lucy.
Jay Armstrong from Medium.
Michael J. Fox (Still - documentary available on AppleTV)
I think after having C, I understand why. For me, it was a tremendous growth opportunity. And through sharing my growth, perhaps I inspired others?
When some folks hear that their ordeal is “character building,” they’ll pass on the next installment. “I’m enough of a character already!”
“...gratitude, kindness, and compassion give us space to respond… instead of react.”
This is in my opinion the GOLD in this post...
What separates us from the entire rest of the animal kingdom is the ability to think and reason.
The challenge, is that we don’t always remember that we have the ability and sometimes we let circumstances, or a knee-jerk response get the better of us. Then, once we realize what we’ve done, we are usually beating ourselves up with some form of internal dialogue that we wouldn’t spout at our worst enemy, let alone a friend.
A vicious circle for sure...
A different way?
PBRR!
Pause, Breathe, Reflect, RESPOND
When we respond versus react, we give ourselves time to quiet our pesky ego (separate from) that only wants to be right and to assert our position as the only right one, not acknowledging that WE are the ones bringing meaning to everything we experience!
H
A
L
T
Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?
A powerful TOOL for reflection!
TY!
🙏🏼🕊️🙏🏼
The linked TLDR article explains how compassion has its own dark side.
There are ways that I have used gratitude and compassion as excuses to stay small and not to stand in my power. This is what the author of the article points out by way of her experience of a collapsed Buddhist collective.
Everything can be this; everything can be that.