Ambition is when you expect yourself to close the gap between what you have and what you want.
Entitlement is when you expect others to close the gap between what you have and what you want.
~ James Clear
Stop making excuses; you’re the only one stopping you.
~ Isa Rae
I love the idea of radical responsibility...
We have no control over what happens and complete control over how we respond.
Once we understand and embrace this idea, that’s when we take our power back. No one else is coming to your rescue. If you need rescuing, unless it’s a 911 emergency, you’re likely to be waiting a long time for help... If you need inspiring, someone may come to your rescue, but that inspiration will only last so long, and then it will be up to you/us to continue taking steps after the inspiration, or motivation wears off... #TheLongGame
And, radical responsibility doesn’t mean you are alone… It’s actually just the opposite. However, until we take complete responsibility, we are probably missing out on the opportunity to tap into something that’s way bigger and way more powerful than anything we could ever possibly create by ourselves… 😊
One of the most important lessons I ever learned comes from the great spiritual teacher Patanjali: “When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties, and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”
I just finished reading Now and Then by Fredrick Buechner. Near the end, he tells how after laboring on his first several novels, characters, scenes, and story lines started to pull him forward, instead of the other way around. He started writing novels in a matter of months instead of years.
“If you catch the wind, you can ride it.” -Toni Morrison
The thing is… you have to do the work to learn the skills, attitude, and mindset first?
We at least need to be willing, open to exploring, curious, not judgmental...
There is no need to reinvent the wheel. There is so much information all around us to apply that what we need is a consistent way to apply what we “choose” from everything we have access to, and to make sure we don’t drown in the overwhelming sea of information available...
Trust me, the 🕳️🐇 can consume us if we are not both discerning and diligent. (Making Progress)
Two great skills for each of us to consider developing further.
Discernment and Diligence?
Others?
For me, the challenge is balancing the desire to know more, to be both in wonder of all the world has to offer, to be both curious and wise enough to understand the importance of discernment and diligence...
Inspiring, one and all. The theme of being responsible for what we want/need dovetails with a couple different experiences I’ve had.
In AA meetings folks often referred to Emmet Fox and one of his books, Sermon On The Mount. Mr. Fox moved from England to the US at the peak of the New Thought Movement. I digress. New to NYC, he had never seen a cafeteria in England, but seeing people through the windows dining, he walked in and found a table. After a long and unfruitful wait he finally observed the sequence for getting a meal, noting, “If I want something to eat I have to take action.”
Much more recently, last night, Beth and I watched “Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris.” A house keeper, widowed from WW II, living in 50’s England saw a couture Dior dress and decided she had to have it. Her determination was unswerving, despite various obstacles. Not the least of them being the 500 pounds for the dress and travel expenses. But Mrs. Harris exuded optimism, kindness, and hope. Generosity as well. Some parts of the movie were overly magical especially involving money. Yet why don’t we allow ourselves to detect and live our own magical opportunities? 🤷🏽
May we trip over some of the magic of this day, or tomorrow’s, and rediscover our hearts’ desires! 😊 Perhaps at the planetarium?
We have no control over what happens and complete control over how we respond.
Once we understand and embrace this idea, that’s when we take our power back. No one else is coming to your rescue.”
What gives me pause is what frequently follows is not only the part that can help inspire an individual to get out of a rut or unsuitable framework, but the follow on phrases such as:
1. I got myself out of a rut, so I’m not obligated to help you.
2. I didn’t blame anyone for the circumstance I was in, so certainly you can’t blame my behavior or action for yours.
When I’m living the dream of my choosing, it involves me being able to feel cared for by those around me -- where they are accountable for more than just their individual needs and desires.
And I likewise, pay attention and care for the realities that others face. In fact, maybe part of what I need to feel my self is to feel confident and secure enough to act selflessly as often as possible.
Ever felt like you could help someone even at an inconvenience and you opted not to?
Ever had someone help you at great inconvenience to them?
Point 1 (I got myself out of a rut, so I’m not obligated to help you.)
I can only speak for myself and from my own experience... I don't think we ever !00% save ourselves? At the very least, all of us have role models, whether they be real or characters in stories, that inspire us to persevere and pull ourselves up? Where does gratitude play a role in our experience? If I could have dinner with somebody, dead or alive... I have an author in mind who wrote a children's book that guides me to this day. So grateful for his authorship!
Do many of us have a natural instinct to "pay forward" the gifts we have received? And if not, why not?
Point 2 (I didn’t blame anyone for the circumstance I was in, so certainly you can’t blame my behavior or action for yours.)
I suspect here you are referencing societal/cultural circumstances rather than natural disaster/you have cancer circumstances?
Our environments affect us and our thought patterns and our aspirations... I just had a conversation about a teen who will likely receive a sports related scholarship. My conversant pointed out how this kid has had a "leg up" with a supportive family, top notch equipment, and coaching from a young age. Is this "fair"? No. Is life fair? No. That said... I'm often confused by the "help" that can/should be offered. Some help does more harm than good. This might be an area of trial and error... with individualized focus?
I do believe from my own experience that it's better to teach a man to fish than to give him a fish. Unless of course he's starving right now. Then you give fish while you teach?
I'm reminded of the quote about "When I pull one thread I find it's hitched to everything else in the universe." (John Muir?)
Also... Maya Angelou... People remember how you make them feel.
If you help me ,and at the same time, make me feel like I'm inconveniencing you... I don't want your help.
This could turn into a very long #connectication.
Basically, I believe when we are present, aware, and compassionate, we can act from out best self.
Yep Gail 😀 -- you’re touching on all the greys and weird feelings that “radical responsibility” triggers for me !!
I 100% agree that the IDEA of radical responsibility is a useful tool -- as is radical acceptance.
I’ve used the tools to help myself.
I just personally need to put the tool back in the toolbox once I’m done with it so I don’t start only seeing nails because I’m holding a hammer.
My life is not nearly as pleasant and I’m not nearly as able to be present when I’m solely focused on things I can control and responsible only for my actions.
But yeah, it’s messy.
The most connected to myself is when I read a book about those we admire -- and then it further explained that we can only admire what we possess ourselves.
Then I read another about a flexible definition of “God” that I’d summarize as god is “love” -- again we see in others what we have in ourselves.
So maybe radical individualism (responsibility and acceptance) for me is the tire iron on my journey. And I’m most happy when I’m not using it but knowing that it’s in the trunk, as I roll down the window and soak in the vibe...
Do you see radical responsibility as a form of individualism and lack of community?
Is radical acceptance a form of self obliteration?
What happens if we ditch the word radical?
For some reason, I'm thinking of people like Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Abraham Lincoln, MLK Jr.. (Jesus? I remember my son coming home from vacation bible school with a What would Jesus do? bracelet. At the time I rolled my eyes. Now I see it quite differently. I've grown... probably in my level of acceptance.)
From my perspective, such individuals embodied an enticing mix of responsibility and acceptance.
I often think about and play with my definition of love. Right now I'd say love is presence and fully engaging with whatever is before me, then acting with the best that is in me.
Hope you can roll down your window this week. Temps in the upper 70s!
Where do I believe I am entitled because of past experiences?
Simplistic hypothetical example:
Would I feel upset if my favorite grocery stopped having baggers bag? Upset might be a strong word, but I'd likely have negative feelings to work through because of the shift. How we hate to lose something.
Note!
Grateful to have tried the Let's #connecticate experiment over on Born Free Newsletter.
I've decided that this will be it's last week.
If you'd like to #connecticate over this question:
If you could have dinner with any person, living or dead, who would it be and why?
Pick a time here:
https://calendly.com/gailboenning/letsconnecticate
Two Quotes!
Ambition is when you expect yourself to close the gap between what you have and what you want.
Entitlement is when you expect others to close the gap between what you have and what you want.
~ James Clear
Stop making excuses; you’re the only one stopping you.
~ Isa Rae
I love the idea of radical responsibility...
We have no control over what happens and complete control over how we respond.
Once we understand and embrace this idea, that’s when we take our power back. No one else is coming to your rescue. If you need rescuing, unless it’s a 911 emergency, you’re likely to be waiting a long time for help... If you need inspiring, someone may come to your rescue, but that inspiration will only last so long, and then it will be up to you/us to continue taking steps after the inspiration, or motivation wears off... #TheLongGame
I embrace radical responsibility!
My every day mantra.
And, radical responsibility doesn’t mean you are alone… It’s actually just the opposite. However, until we take complete responsibility, we are probably missing out on the opportunity to tap into something that’s way bigger and way more powerful than anything we could ever possibly create by ourselves… 😊
One of the most important lessons I ever learned comes from the great spiritual teacher Patanjali: “When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties, and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”
🙏🏼🕊️🙏🏼
Thank you for the quote!
I just finished reading Now and Then by Fredrick Buechner. Near the end, he tells how after laboring on his first several novels, characters, scenes, and story lines started to pull him forward, instead of the other way around. He started writing novels in a matter of months instead of years.
“If you catch the wind, you can ride it.” -Toni Morrison
The thing is… you have to do the work to learn the skills, attitude, and mindset first?
We at least need to be willing, open to exploring, curious, not judgmental...
There is no need to reinvent the wheel. There is so much information all around us to apply that what we need is a consistent way to apply what we “choose” from everything we have access to, and to make sure we don’t drown in the overwhelming sea of information available...
Trust me, the 🕳️🐇 can consume us if we are not both discerning and diligent. (Making Progress)
Two great skills for each of us to consider developing further.
Discernment and Diligence?
Others?
For me, the challenge is balancing the desire to know more, to be both in wonder of all the world has to offer, to be both curious and wise enough to understand the importance of discernment and diligence...
It can be quite the conundrum...
I’m a WIP... ⚠️🚧⚠️
As much as I love language, it can (quoting James Herriot) be a rum ‘un at times!
To me, discernment and diligence are very close cousins to judgement. 🤷♀️
Although… I feel certain I understand what you mean about “judgement” when it comes to remaining open to new experiences.
As always, thank you for being here and sharing! 😁
Inspiring, one and all. The theme of being responsible for what we want/need dovetails with a couple different experiences I’ve had.
In AA meetings folks often referred to Emmet Fox and one of his books, Sermon On The Mount. Mr. Fox moved from England to the US at the peak of the New Thought Movement. I digress. New to NYC, he had never seen a cafeteria in England, but seeing people through the windows dining, he walked in and found a table. After a long and unfruitful wait he finally observed the sequence for getting a meal, noting, “If I want something to eat I have to take action.”
Much more recently, last night, Beth and I watched “Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris.” A house keeper, widowed from WW II, living in 50’s England saw a couture Dior dress and decided she had to have it. Her determination was unswerving, despite various obstacles. Not the least of them being the 500 pounds for the dress and travel expenses. But Mrs. Harris exuded optimism, kindness, and hope. Generosity as well. Some parts of the movie were overly magical especially involving money. Yet why don’t we allow ourselves to detect and live our own magical opportunities? 🤷🏽
May we trip over some of the magic of this day, or tomorrow’s, and rediscover our hearts’ desires! 😊 Perhaps at the planetarium?
“The Universe rewards action.” 😁
I loved watching Mrs. Harris goes to Paris! Those dresses! And her tenacity! And the twist followed by another twist! So good.
I shall keep my eyes open and keen in the dark. 😂
I love the below with my emphasis on idea:
“I love the [IDEA] of radical responsibility...
We have no control over what happens and complete control over how we respond.
Once we understand and embrace this idea, that’s when we take our power back. No one else is coming to your rescue.”
What gives me pause is what frequently follows is not only the part that can help inspire an individual to get out of a rut or unsuitable framework, but the follow on phrases such as:
1. I got myself out of a rut, so I’m not obligated to help you.
2. I didn’t blame anyone for the circumstance I was in, so certainly you can’t blame my behavior or action for yours.
When I’m living the dream of my choosing, it involves me being able to feel cared for by those around me -- where they are accountable for more than just their individual needs and desires.
And I likewise, pay attention and care for the realities that others face. In fact, maybe part of what I need to feel my self is to feel confident and secure enough to act selflessly as often as possible.
Ever felt like you could help someone even at an inconvenience and you opted not to?
Ever had someone help you at great inconvenience to them?
Thanks Bob.
A couple of thoughts/questions in response.
Point 1 (I got myself out of a rut, so I’m not obligated to help you.)
I can only speak for myself and from my own experience... I don't think we ever !00% save ourselves? At the very least, all of us have role models, whether they be real or characters in stories, that inspire us to persevere and pull ourselves up? Where does gratitude play a role in our experience? If I could have dinner with somebody, dead or alive... I have an author in mind who wrote a children's book that guides me to this day. So grateful for his authorship!
Do many of us have a natural instinct to "pay forward" the gifts we have received? And if not, why not?
Point 2 (I didn’t blame anyone for the circumstance I was in, so certainly you can’t blame my behavior or action for yours.)
I suspect here you are referencing societal/cultural circumstances rather than natural disaster/you have cancer circumstances?
Our environments affect us and our thought patterns and our aspirations... I just had a conversation about a teen who will likely receive a sports related scholarship. My conversant pointed out how this kid has had a "leg up" with a supportive family, top notch equipment, and coaching from a young age. Is this "fair"? No. Is life fair? No. That said... I'm often confused by the "help" that can/should be offered. Some help does more harm than good. This might be an area of trial and error... with individualized focus?
I do believe from my own experience that it's better to teach a man to fish than to give him a fish. Unless of course he's starving right now. Then you give fish while you teach?
I'm reminded of the quote about "When I pull one thread I find it's hitched to everything else in the universe." (John Muir?)
Also... Maya Angelou... People remember how you make them feel.
If you help me ,and at the same time, make me feel like I'm inconveniencing you... I don't want your help.
This could turn into a very long #connectication.
Basically, I believe when we are present, aware, and compassionate, we can act from out best self.
Yep Gail 😀 -- you’re touching on all the greys and weird feelings that “radical responsibility” triggers for me !!
I 100% agree that the IDEA of radical responsibility is a useful tool -- as is radical acceptance.
I’ve used the tools to help myself.
I just personally need to put the tool back in the toolbox once I’m done with it so I don’t start only seeing nails because I’m holding a hammer.
My life is not nearly as pleasant and I’m not nearly as able to be present when I’m solely focused on things I can control and responsible only for my actions.
But yeah, it’s messy.
The most connected to myself is when I read a book about those we admire -- and then it further explained that we can only admire what we possess ourselves.
Then I read another about a flexible definition of “God” that I’d summarize as god is “love” -- again we see in others what we have in ourselves.
So maybe radical individualism (responsibility and acceptance) for me is the tire iron on my journey. And I’m most happy when I’m not using it but knowing that it’s in the trunk, as I roll down the window and soak in the vibe...
Do you see radical responsibility as a form of individualism and lack of community?
Is radical acceptance a form of self obliteration?
What happens if we ditch the word radical?
For some reason, I'm thinking of people like Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Abraham Lincoln, MLK Jr.. (Jesus? I remember my son coming home from vacation bible school with a What would Jesus do? bracelet. At the time I rolled my eyes. Now I see it quite differently. I've grown... probably in my level of acceptance.)
From my perspective, such individuals embodied an enticing mix of responsibility and acceptance.
I often think about and play with my definition of love. Right now I'd say love is presence and fully engaging with whatever is before me, then acting with the best that is in me.
Hope you can roll down your window this week. Temps in the upper 70s!
Love the James Clear quote! And I'd say ambition usually involves more hope, while entitlement is based on experience.
Oh Jack! This is rich.
Where do I believe I am entitled because of past experiences?
Simplistic hypothetical example:
Would I feel upset if my favorite grocery stopped having baggers bag? Upset might be a strong word, but I'd likely have negative feelings to work through because of the shift. How we hate to lose something.
You captured the moon and sky in a very creative way. Nice job.
Thank you! I was remembering the ceiling tiles of the room in which I had my breast biopsy.
Hmm... What? Do you mean how some tiles look like they have craters?
No! The ceiling tiles in my biopsy room were crafted to look like the night sky. Beautiful.
I will send you a picture. 😁
Those tiles are pretty cool to see when you have to lie there in an uncomfortable situation. Thank you for sharing the picture with me.
Yes! And in the CT/bone scan rooms, there were panels over the light fixtures — colorful fall foliage, cherry trees in bloom — brilliant! I noticed.
That's awesome.