A few things your post (and the linked fisherman post) had bubble up for me:
1. Resistance of my true self against pressures. Wow this is something I struggle with especially as my “self” evolves and changes. But I love the ideas that:
a) Strength is required for kindness and kindness is an expression of strength.
(I have found and refound this over time with relation to work and career including recently.)
If I’m tempted to be harsh, mean or competitive for winnings sake -- maybe I can dig more.
b) Openness to ideas does not mean openness to expectations.
I loved being a chameleon and trying to predict and show up how others wanted me to.
Especially on Mothers Day -- don’t we all want our parents to be proud?
And now as a parent, do my boys understand that what would make me most proud is if they find a way to live their life in their own way?
2. Your Kenji story reminds me of a conversation with a cousin who is about 8-10 years younger than me. So she had internet in middle school whereas I walked to the computer lab on campus.
We discussed online dating.
My view was the internet is full of BS, posturing, facades, phonies and dangerous folks. How could someone feel safe dating online.
Her view -- which I see a lot in how you describe Kenji -- was that online profiles and dating apps are honest and help clear the clutter. She said she’d never go on a date or approach others at a bar or whatever. She wouldn’t feel safe if approached F2F.
Anyway -- for whatever reason a loving post on parenting and fishing really sparked some awesome Sunday thoughts for me -- thanks for that!
“We must show them! We can’t just tell them, and if our actions are incongruent with our words...”
Love this around authenticity!
I’ve struggled to fully grasp or enact this though ...
How much of the advise have I valued and acted on that came from my parents or others even if it wasn’t aligned with how they lived? Not an inconsiderable amount.
Are there cases where I’ve learned from words-actions not being aligned. Absolutely.
Did that result in me rejecting the advice even though the offerer of advice didn’t live that way-- sometimes, but other times not.
Do I agree that ONLY our actions matter? Or that my words and actions must align? Or that I can only have an opinion of my own worth sharing if my actions?
Do I/we allow, encourage, support (or vote for) and follow folks whose actions are incongruent with their words? Yes! All the time.
But as I mentioned I go back and forth on this quite frequently. As probably is shown in the question-laden barf up above!
Seems at times to me that I’m trying to balance lack of judginess with hypocrisy reactions.
I think parents often learn more from our children than they learn from us. Your fisherman story is a case in point. But it's your openness to learning and to building connection that makes personal growth possible. Then we, your readers reap the rewards. Happy Mother's Day, Gail!
Happy Mothers Day Gail!
A few things your post (and the linked fisherman post) had bubble up for me:
1. Resistance of my true self against pressures. Wow this is something I struggle with especially as my “self” evolves and changes. But I love the ideas that:
a) Strength is required for kindness and kindness is an expression of strength.
(I have found and refound this over time with relation to work and career including recently.)
If I’m tempted to be harsh, mean or competitive for winnings sake -- maybe I can dig more.
b) Openness to ideas does not mean openness to expectations.
I loved being a chameleon and trying to predict and show up how others wanted me to.
Especially on Mothers Day -- don’t we all want our parents to be proud?
And now as a parent, do my boys understand that what would make me most proud is if they find a way to live their life in their own way?
2. Your Kenji story reminds me of a conversation with a cousin who is about 8-10 years younger than me. So she had internet in middle school whereas I walked to the computer lab on campus.
We discussed online dating.
My view was the internet is full of BS, posturing, facades, phonies and dangerous folks. How could someone feel safe dating online.
Her view -- which I see a lot in how you describe Kenji -- was that online profiles and dating apps are honest and help clear the clutter. She said she’d never go on a date or approach others at a bar or whatever. She wouldn’t feel safe if approached F2F.
Anyway -- for whatever reason a loving post on parenting and fishing really sparked some awesome Sunday thoughts for me -- thanks for that!
Bob-
This is it!
“And now as a parent, do my boys understand that what would make me most proud is if they find a way to live their life in their own way?”
How do we make sure they KNOW?
We must show them! We can’t just tell them, and if our actions are incongruent with our words, it doesn’t matter what we think or hope...
Thanks for posting what was bubbling up for you!
I am #Grateful
🙏🏼🕊️🙏🏼
We must show them!
Yes! Children learn what they live.
🙏🏼🕊️🙏🏼
Hi Bobby!
“We must show them! We can’t just tell them, and if our actions are incongruent with our words...”
Love this around authenticity!
I’ve struggled to fully grasp or enact this though ...
How much of the advise have I valued and acted on that came from my parents or others even if it wasn’t aligned with how they lived? Not an inconsiderable amount.
Are there cases where I’ve learned from words-actions not being aligned. Absolutely.
Did that result in me rejecting the advice even though the offerer of advice didn’t live that way-- sometimes, but other times not.
Do I agree that ONLY our actions matter? Or that my words and actions must align? Or that I can only have an opinion of my own worth sharing if my actions?
Do I/we allow, encourage, support (or vote for) and follow folks whose actions are incongruent with their words? Yes! All the time.
But as I mentioned I go back and forth on this quite frequently. As probably is shown in the question-laden barf up above!
Seems at times to me that I’m trying to balance lack of judginess with hypocrisy reactions.
Watch what people do… not what they say they’ll do.
All of us… You, me, Typist, “The Girls”, all of us!
You’re welcome!
THIS!
And now as a parent, do my boys understand that what would make me most proud is if they find a way to live their life in their own way?
🎉
Happy Mother’s Day, Gail!
Both today’s 3MM, and the older share about Kenji, were superb. Not surprisingly, yet delightfully.
When I wrote the fisherman post… I was still so timid! I recall worrying about what people might think.
Last night I read it out loud at dinner and had tears running down my cheeks.
How did I not know I’m funny?
We’re often the last to know! 🙂
Happy Mother's Day. One of life's greatest challenges is a gift.
You got that right! 😉
Hope you and your girls are having a great Sunday!
Happy Mother’s Day, Gail! 💚
Thank you Jack!!!
Choose your link #Spotify or #YouTube
A Mother’s LOVE is immeasurable...
When God made Mother’s, the earth tilted on its axis...
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Oh7CbVahoxmcnncpzky0g?si=fZZI7aoYRoKqkLxNRVjscg
https://youtu.be/3XCuubwDRB8
Thank for sharing the story link Bobby.
Not sure if I’ve heard the Edison story before. So good!!!
We all have the power to empower. 💜
TY! Happy Mother’s Day!
You ARE an Empowerer!
What a gem!
I think parents often learn more from our children than they learn from us. Your fisherman story is a case in point. But it's your openness to learning and to building connection that makes personal growth possible. Then we, your readers reap the rewards. Happy Mother's Day, Gail!
Thank you Karen! Being a mom is such a gift.
Hope you have time with one or both of your sons today! 💜