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Karen DeBonis's avatar

Like Thalia, I'm sighing. You know I know the people-pleasing cycle of experience, Gail. I had to train myself to interrupt, which doesn't come naturally (and the talker, in my experience, doesn't detect the intrusion). I'll be curious to see what you try and how it works!

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Gary Spangler's avatar

A former employer once commented, “You can only say ‘I can’t believe he did...whatever’ one time. The next occurrence doesn’t qualify for another comment like this.”

When I find myself genuinely saying, “I can’t believe” it benefits me to examine my surprise. Or the motives of the other’s behavior. Look for the “conjoined-twin”emotional baggage that provided the set up? AAA? Awareness, acceptance, action.

It strikes me that avoiding judgement could be a good starting point. A friend once offered, “There are only two states of being. Disturbed and undisturbed.”

Is it possible, without being snarky, to say the next time, “Let’s have a conversation!” to the non-lobber?

I must confess that I’m nearly as delighted as Tal to hear there’s paddle boarding up ahead! It occurred to me that taking selfies while on the board may be difficult. As I’ve seen none, and if you don’t mind my asking, what is your preferred attire? Temperature dependent I imagine?! Barefoot? A swim cap like those in Esther Williams’ era?🙃

Have a grand time of it!

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