cycles of experience
Thalia sighed. “She’s gone and done it again.”
“She has,” Urania confirmed.
“At least she’s aware this time?” Cal grinned. “And is thinking through a repair strategy… that involves honesty, kindness, and communication — not evasion?”
“Yes.” said Thalia. “Now let’s get that paddleboard in truck!”
Words from Typist:
People pleasing.
In Barbara Kingsolver’s poem How to Cure Sweet Potatoes, she describes it as “… all the times you wanted to be starchy but were made to be sweet.”
I have once again found myself in a relationship where I am an empty glass — my conversant a pitcher pouring their words and thoughts into me without volleying the ball back over the net.
Now that I am aware of the pattern, it’s time I speak up about my perceptions and feelings… See what comes of it, eh?
It’s not that life is one damn thing after another — it’s one damn thing over and over.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay
Are there any cycles of experience, that if detected and shifted, would make your life better?
Like Thalia, I'm sighing. You know I know the people-pleasing cycle of experience, Gail. I had to train myself to interrupt, which doesn't come naturally (and the talker, in my experience, doesn't detect the intrusion). I'll be curious to see what you try and how it works!
A former employer once commented, “You can only say ‘I can’t believe he did...whatever’ one time. The next occurrence doesn’t qualify for another comment like this.”
When I find myself genuinely saying, “I can’t believe” it benefits me to examine my surprise. Or the motives of the other’s behavior. Look for the “conjoined-twin”emotional baggage that provided the set up? AAA? Awareness, acceptance, action.
It strikes me that avoiding judgement could be a good starting point. A friend once offered, “There are only two states of being. Disturbed and undisturbed.”
Is it possible, without being snarky, to say the next time, “Let’s have a conversation!” to the non-lobber?
I must confess that I’m nearly as delighted as Tal to hear there’s paddle boarding up ahead! It occurred to me that taking selfies while on the board may be difficult. As I’ve seen none, and if you don’t mind my asking, what is your preferred attire? Temperature dependent I imagine?! Barefoot? A swim cap like those in Esther Williams’ era?🙃
Have a grand time of it!